Day 10
The week leading up to Shine Conference, 10 years ago, will always be remembered as one of the worst weeks of my life.
I was carrying so much heaviness that I almost didn’t attend. Yes, me, the Pastor’s daughter.
It was conference week, and the team was busily preparing, and the excitement was palpable, but I had never dreaded something so much in my whole life.
I felt desperately alone, and only a handful of trusted people knew what I was going through.
I was not in a good place.
But for me, not showing up to Church has never been an option, and though I would have done ANYTHING to avoid being at Shine that weekend, God met me there in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
I didn’t want to be there, but He met me anyway.
I didn’t deserve it, but He loved me regardless.
I didn’t feel worthy, but He reminded me that I was.
As I stood on the front row, surrounded by hundreds of worshipping women, I remember the words of the song and I reached for my (physical) Dad’s hand for support as the tears rolled down my face.
‘Are you hurting and broken within?
Overwhelmed by the weight of your sin?
Jesus is calling
Have you come to the end of yourself?
Do you thirst for a drink from the well?
Jesus is calling
O come to the altar
The Father's arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ
Leave behind your regrets and mistakes
Come today, there's no reason to wait
Jesus is calling
Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy
From the ashes, a new life is born
Jesus is calling
O come to the altar
The Father's arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ’
In that moment, I was reminded that no matter how far away I felt, how difficult my situation was, or how unlovely I felt both on the outside AND the inside, God still loved me with an everlasting, unconditional love. And that love covered it all, by His grace.
I hope that today you find the encouragement in my vulnerability, because maybe you look around and think that all of the other women around you have it together: they don’t.
Maybe you are in a season of loneliness, depression, or the heaviness feels too weighty to carry. Don’t hide yourself away.
I know from my own very real experiences that sometimes you cannot simply ‘put a smile on your face and pretend you’re ok.’
But Jesus loves you far too much to let you walk through life alone, so He’s sent you an entire army of Godly women to walk, (or crawl across the floor if you have to) alongside you.
See you at Shine, girl.
I’ll gladly be the one to hold your hand if you need it ✨
I was carrying so much heaviness that I almost didn’t attend. Yes, me, the Pastor’s daughter.
It was conference week, and the team was busily preparing, and the excitement was palpable, but I had never dreaded something so much in my whole life.
I felt desperately alone, and only a handful of trusted people knew what I was going through.
I was not in a good place.
But for me, not showing up to Church has never been an option, and though I would have done ANYTHING to avoid being at Shine that weekend, God met me there in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
I didn’t want to be there, but He met me anyway.
I didn’t deserve it, but He loved me regardless.
I didn’t feel worthy, but He reminded me that I was.
As I stood on the front row, surrounded by hundreds of worshipping women, I remember the words of the song and I reached for my (physical) Dad’s hand for support as the tears rolled down my face.
‘Are you hurting and broken within?
Overwhelmed by the weight of your sin?
Jesus is calling
Have you come to the end of yourself?
Do you thirst for a drink from the well?
Jesus is calling
O come to the altar
The Father's arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ
Leave behind your regrets and mistakes
Come today, there's no reason to wait
Jesus is calling
Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy
From the ashes, a new life is born
Jesus is calling
O come to the altar
The Father's arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ’
In that moment, I was reminded that no matter how far away I felt, how difficult my situation was, or how unlovely I felt both on the outside AND the inside, God still loved me with an everlasting, unconditional love. And that love covered it all, by His grace.
I hope that today you find the encouragement in my vulnerability, because maybe you look around and think that all of the other women around you have it together: they don’t.
Maybe you are in a season of loneliness, depression, or the heaviness feels too weighty to carry. Don’t hide yourself away.
I know from my own very real experiences that sometimes you cannot simply ‘put a smile on your face and pretend you’re ok.’
But Jesus loves you far too much to let you walk through life alone, so He’s sent you an entire army of Godly women to walk, (or crawl across the floor if you have to) alongside you.
See you at Shine, girl.
I’ll gladly be the one to hold your hand if you need it ✨